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Letting Go Doesn’t Mean Forgetting

SHARED BY JANE BURGIO| LEAVE A COMMENT

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Questions I couldn't let go

One of the biggest questions I wrestled with after Joe died was this: Did he still love me? And right behind it: Would we still share the same connection in eternity?

FREE GUIDE: What to Do After Your Spouse Dies

Let go of fear-He heals the brokenhearted

The tender answer God has given me is yes. Yes, Joe loves me still. In fact, he loves me even more now. He is in the presence of perfect love. To love less would be impossible; he can only love more with a perfected, completed love.

I’ve had glimpses of this truth. When I purchased a new car, I felt Joe’s deep pleasure in my decision. His happiness with me was so real, confirming that I had done the right thing with our vehicles. That experience also reassured me that he knew what was going on in my life — that he was still connected to me in love.

Let go of uncertainty-God has a better plan

Another question I carried: What will our relationship be like in eternity? Ecclesiastes 3:14 tells us that “everything God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.” The love Joe and I shared here on earth was a gift from God, and what God does cannot be undone. Our love is not erased by death; it will be fulfilled, perfected, and deepened in eternity.

God has given me moments to confirm this hope. In the grocery store — a place I have dreaded since Joe passed — I suddenly felt a strong awareness of him, comforting me the way he always had. Another time, when I was worried about water in the basement, I dreamed of Joe (only the second dream I’ve had of him). In the dream, he told me exactly who to call. Both moments reminded me that love is not dead. Joe was aware of my concerns, responding with the same care he always gave me.

Free Resource: Letting Go Doesn’t Mean Forgetting

This gentle guided journal offers scripture, reflection prompts, and encouragement to help you release what you cannot hold while treasuring the love that endures forever. A safe space to process grief, remember with hope, and take small steps toward healing.

When Love Transcends Loss

When It’s Time to Let Go of What They Left Behind

Called Higher

Surrender in Grief: Giving God What You Don't Understand

God's Mercies are New Every Morning

Open up to greater expectation

Letting go of the tangible pieces of the past — the things we can’t hold onto or maintain — is part of the grieving journey. But letting go doesn’t mean forgetting. It means opening our hands to a greater expectation: the eternal joy and fulfillment that awaits us in God’s presence.

Love endures

The transition of grief is never all at once. It is one step, one day at a time, trusting that the Lord is leading us to a future that remembers and honors our earthly love, but also fulfills and perfects it.

Throughout Scripture, we see examples of love enduring beyond the grave. David, after the loss of his infant son, declared, “I will go to him, but he will not return to me” (2 Samuel 12:23). David understood that earthly separation was temporary, and reunion awaited him. Later, he honored his covenant with Jonathan by caring for Jonathan’s son, Mephibosheth, showing that love and covenant remain powerful even after death (2 Samuel 9:7).

These stories remind me that God is all about relationship. Jesus said the greatest commandments are to love God and to love people. Love is eternal because God is eternal. Death does not sever what He has joined in love — it transforms it into something deeper, purer, everlasting.

So, dear one walking this road of grief: if you find yourself afraid of “forgetting,” be comforted. Letting go of the physical doesn’t erase the spiritual. Your love endures, and in Christ, it will be perfected beyond imagination.

Take the step God places before you today. Trust Him with tomorrow. And hold fast to this truth: letting go does not mean forgetting — it means reaching forward into the eternal embrace of love that never ends.

Scripture Resources for Reflection

• Ecclesiastes 3:14 – “I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.”
  → God’s work in creating love and covenant is eternal.

• 2 Samuel 12:23 – “But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”
  → A reminder that separation is temporary; reunion awaits.

• 2 Samuel 9:7 – “Don’t be afraid,” David said to him, “for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table.”
  → Love and covenantal promises endure beyond death.

• 1 Corinthians 13:8 – “Love never fails.”
  → Love is eternal because God is eternal.

• John 11:25–26 – “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.”
  → Jesus Himself assures us that death is not the end.

• Romans 8:38–39 – “For I am convinced that neither death nor life… will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
  → Nothing, not even death, can sever us from God’s love.

Looking for More Encouragement?

If this post encouraged you, you'll find more in my book, Unshakeable in Christ—a 30-day devotional centered on healing through our identity in Christ. Each day features a powerful "I AM" statement rooted in Scripture. It’s written for women who, while navigating life’s hardest seasons, yet cling to their identity in Christ as their firm, unshakeable foundation.

Share Your Story

Have you found comfort in any daily routines? What’s helping you heal? Share in the comments below—I’d love to hear what habits are helping you in this season, and your experience might give hope to someone else.